Day 9 Love Makes Good Impressions

Day 9

Love makes good impressions

Greet one another with a kiss of love. –1 Peter 5:14

Think of a specific way you’d like to greet your spouse today. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm. Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.

Today’s Questions:

When and where did you choose to do your special greeting? How will you change your greeting from this point on?

For I have come to have much joy and comfort in your love. (Philemon 7)

Yesterday’s Dare:

I did not have a hard time destroying the list, at all. I have come to accept Tommy for every quality he has, not just the good. Tommy has had an extremely hard time getting a job because of everything that happened with the Navy and his back. His uncle is trying to get him a job working on movie sets. We had to come up with the union dues ($600) and references, 2 union and 2 personal. We have everything ready on our end and that is what I ‘celebrated’ with him yesterday. With him not having a job every time he gets an interview or puts in an application we ‘celebrate’ it. That is all we can do at this point.

Day 8 Love Is Not Jealous

Day 8

Love is not jealous

Love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire. –Song of Solomon 8:6 NIV

Determine to become your spouse’s biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday’s list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.

Today’s Questions:

How hard was it to destroy the list? What are some positive experiences that you can celebrate in the life of your mate? How can you encourage them toward future success?

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. (Romans 12:15)

Yesterday’s Dare:

The positive list was most definitely the easiest to make. Tommy doesn’t have a bad bone in his body. Most of his bad attributes aren’t really that bad, they are more annoying than anything. He also has a habit of ‘using the wrong attribute at the wrong time’; which means it’s not really that he is a bad person I just need to learn to be patient and let the little stuff go. Of all the positive things I wrote and could have thanked Tommy for I chose to thank him for being sweet. That he is, all the time. There is not a day goes by that he does not tell me that I’m beautiful and that he loves me. J

Day 7 Love Believes The Best

Day 7

Love believes the best

[Love] believes all things, hopes all things. – 1 Corinthians 13:7

For today’s dare, get two sheets of paper. On the first one, spend a few minutes writing out positive things about your spouse. Then do the same with negative things on the second sheet. Place both sheets in a secret place for another day. There is a different purpose and plan for each. At some point during the remainder of the day, pick a positive attribute from the first list and thank your spouse for having this characteristic.

Today’s Questions:

Which list was easier to make? What did this reveal about your thoughts? What attribute did you thank your spouse for having?

If there is anything praiseworthy –mediate on these things. (Philippians 4:8 NKJV)

Yesterday’s Dare:

I do not have an extremely busy schedule, and neither does Tommy. However, we do need to set aside a specific day each week to spend quality time together to relax and learn to worship. I overreact all the time, over the stupidest things for no reason. I know that I am stressed due to our financial situation. I am also a jealous person who can hold a grudge. We would love nothing more than to live our lives with the ability to afford our groceries and be able to pay our own bills. We don’t want anything extraordinary and over the top. We will start taking Sundays as ‘our day’ each week.

Good Luck,

Day 6 Love Is Not Irritable

Day 6

Love is not irritable

He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city. –Proverbs 16:32

Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list below of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.

Today’s Questions:

Where do you need to add margin to your life? When have to recently overreacted? What was your real motivation behind it? What decisions have you made today?

I always do my best to have a clear conscience toward God and men. (Acts 24:16)

Yesterday’s Dare: 

So I asked my wonderful husband what three things I do that irritate him and this is what he came up with.

1) I don't take not getting my way well. 

2) I expect him to read my mind and when he doesn't I get mad.

3) I drive like a woman.

Well, I have to say that I handled it pretty well. I actually laughed at myself and then at him when he said number 3.  Number 1 is because I'm spoiled (I know, horrible) but I plan to change this by learning to compromise a little more and let the small stuff go. For example, I got mad the other day because I didn't have time to do my hair and all that for Valentine's Day. Why? Because I wanted to look cute, even though he told me I looked cute in what I was wearing. We did a date 'in' so what did it matter, if he thought I looked cute that's all that matters, well should be. Number 2 I admit to. However, its because some things seem so self-explanatory I don't feel I should have to voice them. I assumed wrong, so from here on out I will do my best to say everything, even if I feel it is unnecessary. As for number 3, I have NO clue how to change this, its how I learned to drive. After all I am a woman. Leave it to Tommy to find something like this for me to 'fix'. Right now I have no solution, if you do feel free to help. 

Good Luck,

Day 5 Love Is Not Rude

Day 5

Love is not rude

He who blesses his friends with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him. –Proverbs 27:14

Here are three guiding principles when if comes to practicing etiquette in your marriage:

1)      Guard the Golden Rule. Treat your mate the same way you want to be treated. (see Luke 6:31)

2)      No double standards. Be as considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers and coworkers.

3)      Honor requests. Consider what your husband or wife already asked you to do or not to do. If in doubt, then ask.

Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.

Today’s Questions:

What things did your spouse point out about you that need your attention? How did ou handle hearing it? What do you plan to do to improve these areas?

The words from the mouth of a wise man are gracious. (Ecclesiastes 10:12)

Yesterday’s Dare: 

We usually talk several times a day or simply text each other all day long. Nonetheless, I called Tommy yesterday before I left work to come home. I was upset when I left the house and we hadn't really talked since then. I asked him if he needed anything, specifically cigarettes, that I could get it on the way home. The other day he had asked me to pick some up for him and I didn't, I asked yesterday and he says no. I have offered a few times before to go get them and every time I do he says no, I've never really thought about it before. I guess it makes him a little more self-aware of his addiction. I did enjoy talking to him yesterday after I left so upset. I was able to give him a sincere apology for leaving upset and letting the small things get to me. It would also have been much easier for me to stop by the store before I got home and would have saved an argument because he asked me to go back out and get them. I think I will start asking on a regular basis if for nothing other than trying to fight less.

Side Note:

Yesterday started off bad, I fixed breakfast but it didn't turn out and then I was running so late I didn't get a chance to change into anything cute! No makeup, I didn't even have time to do my hair. UGH, right? Well, I go to work and have an ok day, the kids are 'behaving'. Then I come home to . . . the regular day stuff. We had talked about only watching a movie but he hadn't changed either! I had also asked him to hang up the curtains, and he didn't. I was mad at first but I went to the room and cooled down. He came in a lit all the candles and started a movie. I melted. He is NOT a romantic man, he is far from perfect but I love him all the same. We watched one of my favorites, Fireproof. He had never seen it before! I did not know that. We laid around and just talked, and then of course things got rated-R. It was Valentine's Day, what can I say. I enjoyed the day despite the bad things if nothing other than he was with me this year, last year he was in boot camp : ( Oh well, maybe next year! Have a good one!

Day 4 Love Is Thoughtful

Day 4

Love is thoughtful

How precious also are Your thoughts to me . . . How vast is the sun of them! If I should count them, They would outnumber the sand. –Psalm 139:17-18

Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.

Today’s Questions:

What did you learn about yourself or your spouse  by doing this today? How could this become a more natural, routine, and genuinely helpful part of your lifestyle?

I thank my God in all my remembrance of you. (Philippians 1:3)

Yesterday's Dare:

I'm really limited on money so this was kinda hard for me. I would have loved to have been able to go out and get him an Xbox or the game he really wants but instead I had to suffice with some gum and a sudoku puzzles and other brain busters. I figured I'd help quit smoking, he really is trying to quit. Though is wans't much he smiled and said thanks. I still feel like crap because its not what I wanted to get him. :(

P.S. Happy Valentine's Day! 

 

Day 3 Love Is Not Selfish

Day 3

Love is not selfish

Be devoted to one another in a brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor. -Romans 12:10

Ask yourself these questions:

·        Do I truly want what's best for my husband or wife?

·        Do I want them to feel loved by me?

·        Do they believe I have their best interests in mind?

·        Do they see me as looking out for myself first?

Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It's hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, "I was thinking of you today."

Today's Questions:

What did you choose to give your spouse? What happened when you gave it?

Where jealousy and selfish ambitions exist, there is disorder (James:316)

Yesterday's Dare:

So I wanted to give Tommy a back-rub because he loves them SO much and because his back hurts constantly. Due to his constant Xbox playing I wasn't able to do it, yet. Instead I made him a coupon that expires Monday (Valentine's Day) and I'm almost positive that when he sees it he will 'cash' it in immediately. 

(So far) I have learned that love is based on patience, kindness, and compromise. Without those three things Tommy and I would be in a lot of trouble.  

Good Luck,