If you are forty-something you are too old for video games, right? Well, in the off chance that you play you are too old to pitch a fit, cry and scream just because you 'die', right? Apparently not! One of the many things that get under my skin every day is the fact that my biological father acts just like my 13 year old brother used to (and on occasion still does, though I still don't see the point in the tantrum). And its not like he is actually playing a game, he is playing 'online' with the Xbox. HELLO! Its not like you are actually fighting in the war! So it matters why?! It doesn't. However, you could never convince him of this. And on top of all the tantrums and foul language when he gets 'shot and killed' he wishes the most horrible, gruesome, un-God-like things on these people who are just playing the game. Its not like they have it out for him. Or is it? I know if I played I'd do nothing but follow him around and 'shoot' him just for everyone else, provided I could work the controller.
I have never really understood the fascination with video games, I cant sit still that long and my coordination with the controller and the little man on the game SUCKS! If I got as mad as he does there would be nothing left intact in the house, maybe not even the house itself. I believe its all a matter of priority and self control. At the age of, I don't know, when you GRADUATE (or drop out, whichever is the case) you are old enough to know when its time for work and when its time for play. Alas, this is not true for him, not in the least. He has played online for 72 hours STRAIGHT I know of at least once while I was here. So, that is 72+ hours of not having a shower, brushing your teethe, putting on deodorant, or anything the hints at hygienic. Even when he does go to sleep for a few hours, its not like he goes to bed at a normal time and gets up with everyone in the house. He will get mad and pitch a fit, go to bed at like 2 o'clock in the afternoon and its like he doesn't really go to sleep because he will wait 'til we are asleep, or at least me, and go in there jack-up the volume and scream at the top of his lungs. No, its not like sleep is a necessary part of life its one of those things like hygiene, recommended but not required. It makes me want to scream.
Not to mention in the off chance that Tommy or I actually cook a meal and not just something frozen, he expects for me to fix him a plate and bring it to him. HA! Just because of that I have when without eating at the house. He also expects for me to do every bit of the cleaning around the house, as well as take care of all the animals. Well lets see, there are two guys at the house every day. Neither of them have a job. Hmmm . . . and I have to do all this why? Oh, because I'm female? I think not. I grew up in the 20th century and am living in the 21st century. It has been proven that it will not kill a man to help around the house. It wont even make him ill! Oh My God! Its a miracle! Yes, it will be a miracle the day that he puts down the controller and helps clean, without a word.
I suppose what really makes it so bad is that he claims to be a man of God and a nice person. Well, I don't recall seeing a 'man of God' or 'nice person' in him these past few days. He is not so bad when he stays on his medication, but he never does. He doesn't care what he does, what he says, or who he hurts. It has always been okay for him to do these things, his sister has enabled him by making excuses and wrongly accusing other people, things or events of being the reason he did/does those things. He is never accountable for his actions and don't even think for once there will be any consequences for his actions. There is nothing I can do about it, I am his daughter and I have caught the short end of the stick too many times. He is nicer to strangers than he is to me. Its okay though, I have come to terms with the fact that I don't really matter in his life, he just wants the ability to say that he helped me and he wants someone to do everything he doesn't.
Anyway, I have to deal with this every day. It gets old real quick, but what can I do? Nothing, we have no where else we can go. We don't have the money to make it on our own. I realize that he has helped us greatly, and I do appreciate that but I can only take so much. Just because I am female does not mean I am a programed maid and just because I am your daughter does not mean that you can walk all over me. I realize my issues with him are deeper than anyone could ever imagine, but if I began to explain everything it would take me forever and it would be more of a book than a blog.
I'm done.
Jen
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